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Digesting the lowest rung of pop culture so you don't have to!
Episode 3, 4, and 5 all felt like a sham. It pretty much consisted of redoing every scene from the original while adding some additional scenes which don’t change the story at all. We have some additional characters such as the cop who seems to be making an appearance in every episode. Every scene the cop is in brightens the Gorehounds day. Perhaps it’s because he is the only recurring and new character and every other character is simply a pitiful blur from the classic in 1996. The argument against remakes is boring and ultimately pointless but it appears that every scene and prop from this movie is taken straight from the set in 1996.
Ritchie Gecko is indeed more horrific than Tarantino. He frightens the Gorehound and not in the way the Pet Cemetary or ghosts from Paranormal Activity frightens. I want to change the channel when Ritchie is on the screen. No more gigantic chin or foot fetish, just constant creepiness.
The drunken father, Robert Patrick, is just disappointing. His drunkenness isn’t comedic, or violent… it just makes you turn your head and sigh. Remember the T-1000 from T2? Now that was an entertaining antagonist. He preaches traditional familial values all the while being a stupid drunk.
The last shootout in Episode 5 was a sham. If they were going to blast everyone, why’d they take up 10 minutes of the episode trying to keep them sneaky? It’s good that they finally made it to Titty Twisters because Episode 5 was a turning point. This show is no longer fun. These last 3 episodes were a drag. Let’s hope Savini or Trejo comes in to kick everyone’s ass and teach them how to retell a story. Unless heads start rolling and the blood starts splattering, this last 5 episodes are going to be long.