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Digesting the lowest rung of pop culture so you don't have to!
Well, it was February 14th and you know what that means. Valentine’s Day theme movie night has come and passed. I intended on getting this up day-of but until I start making money off of cinema, academics take priority. On the agenda is the star-filled cast in the 2010 romantic comedy Valentine’s Day and the 2001 horror thriller Valentine. So who comes wins this cinematic battle? There is a lot of bias considering the Gorehound is penning this article but let’s start off with some even playing ground. All honest cinephiles can appreciate or at least acknowledge and provide equal opportunity to movies of all genres. Yes, I do honestly believe that horror films are, in all aspects, superior to other genres but I love and accept films of all topics, ideas, themes, and environments.
First up, the romantic comedy. This movie does have a few good things going with it. For instance, the first glimpse of the cover I see a two actors who I favor: Jessica Alba and Bradley Cooper, along with some others who I find entertaining. Unfortunately, the rest are simply actors I think are ridiculous like Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift. Another plus is that it passes the 2 hour mark. My preferred length for movies is between 2 and 2.5 hours. I dislike TV episodes because it doesn’t allow for enough substance to develop in the story.
The best parts included Taylor Swift because she is truly and an intentionally funny actress (i.e., we’re not laughing at her like we would K-Stew). I’ve never seen anything else with her in it except maybe some CGI film I think she was in. The part with the two older folks (Hector Elizondo and Shirley MacLaine to be specific) was fabulous. Relationships with older folks always elevates the emotions. It’s a simple formula (which I’m always for simplicity) for adding a bunch of heart to movies.
The worst parts: not enough Jessica Alba or Bradley Cooper. Ashton Kutcher has a large role in the film I still find him incredibly annoying. The only thing I see in him is Kelso. The movie preaches forgiveness and love, two things this Gorehound (grave)digs. During the first part of the movie I felt like the movie was unfairly promoting hedonism and sleep with whoever you want and treat everyone like shit. I figured it would pan out in the end and it certainly did: Love one another, be nice, and hug.
Next on the list is the quickly forgotten horror thriller Valentine, starring Denise Richards, Katherine Heigl and no else I care about. When I was younger I went through a few years of just absorbing as many films as possible. I never really gave much attention but was simply enthralled in movies of all sorts. I couldn’t get enough and yet I couldn’t remember a single thing from them a few years later. I initially watched this film during that phase and therefore remember absolutely nothing. I know that I’ve never heard of it since and had to order it on Amazon because Netflix nor the rental store offered it.
Being the Gorehound that I am, I enjoyed this film much more. It’s darker, deeper, more mystery, and off course, more stabbings. I tend to feel that Denise Richards is nothing but a bad actress used to attract teenage boys. Though she is on the front cover, she is not as promiscuous as you’ll remember from Wild Things. There is nothing really special in this film but it is solid. No extreme scenes where a more sensitive person may have to look away. Though she was quickly distracted, the Gorehound’s wife could have certainly sit through this 90 minute horror thriller.
To sum up, Valentine’s Day (romance) certainly garnered more success than Valentine (horror) ever will but that doesn’t mean they don’t make a good combo because they are wonderful pairings! For a Valentine’s Day night-in, these are perfect duos. Both are very entertaining, neither are too extreme, and very well made.