Zack & Nick's Culture Cast

Digesting the lowest rung of pop culture so you don't have to!

SHARKNADO!

OMG! I love science fiction, especially deep sea creature features. This just gets the Gorehound going. Sharknado is entertaining and fun, no doubt about it.  It doesn’t go very deep but who cares? No other made-for-TV movie has garnered this much attention, primarily due to Twitter. The film was aired on cable TV for 3 weeks, with viewership increasing each week. This makes the Gorehound ecstatic because he loves it when cheesy goretastic films are popularized.

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So the movie, like I said, doesn’t go very deep. We start off with hurricane-like waterspouts which causes flooding everywhere (think Hard Rain but during the day) which starts off with sharks in the streets. The central cast of characters are wonderful and very stereotypical: the strong male lead, the young attractive bad-ass woman (with sweet name of Nova), some comic relief from the strong male leads friend, and some other characters along the way. Kevin McCalister’s dad has a small part in the beginning as an old and funny drunkard. I would have liked to see him last longer but he was good. Tara Reid didn’t have that big of a role which doesn’t bother me too much, I never liked her anyways.

Screen-Shot-2013-07-11-at-6.57.53-PMAs the film progresses with shark-congested streets, the waterspouts hit land and become tornadoes sucking up sharks and thus we have the fantastic creation of the SHARKNADO! Our central cast decides the best way to destroy this creation is throwing handmade bombs. There was no central antagonist and I would have liked to see some evil guy behind it all. There was an intro scene foreshadowing an evil antagonist which I thought might come back but alas, we were left with no bad guy to root against.

This movie is full of shitty CGI. I don’t think there was any red corn syrup used either. Sharks are jumping out of everywhere, biting every body part or appendage visible. There is nowhere safe.  Apparently PETA should be happy because there were only a few scenes of actual sharks used, everything else was CGI. The sharks are entertaining but don’t strive for variety, that is, every shark is exactly the same. No hammer heads, whale sharks, tiger sharks (only a reference of them which is barely visible), angels, makos, threshers, or otherwise cool looking sharks. Only great whites. Yeah, they might not all be violent but neither is a tornado congested with sharks conceivable.

I watched this movie from a DVR and I was a little annoyed. As I was watching the film, there were numerous tweets popping up. No doubt about it, it was annoying. Perhaps they were going for the retro pop-up video look but the tweets were ridiculous, stupid, and informative. Trivia tracks, good; tweets; bad! Keep those out SyFy! The Gorehound doesn’t like!

There were numerous homages to classic movies which worked well: Independence Day (near the end when the strong central leads says “That’s my son.”), Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (running away from the runaway Ferris wheel), and even Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (escape from an animals carcass at the end). It may have been unintentional but it certainly provided a positive impact.

Let’s do some comparisons. How does Sharknado compare against Avatar? Both are incredibly entertaining and never slow, but the Sharknado has piss poor cinematic quality. Against 2 Headed Shark Attack? Sharknado has less bikinis and teens but are both pretty comparable.  Compared to Anaconda? Yeah, Anaconda has no fun, cinematic quality, or otherwise worthless quality and therefore Sharknado is superior in every aspect.

sharknado-768In addition, let us all become familiar with The Asylum film studio. They bring us mockbusters (films with strikingly similar name meant to bank off popularity of actual blockbusters) and other straight-to-DVD flicks. I also present another point, is the term straight-to-DVD applicable anymore? What I mean is, you may be able to garner as much success through digital means as through solid state forms. I acknowledge that many DVD sales are crucial to profit but when you go to Redbox you don’t differentiate between straight-to-DVD, straight-to-TV, or theatrically released, you pick based on the cover. Well anyways, here a few films produced by The Asylum: Vampires vs. Zombies, Snakes on a Train, The Da Vinci Treasure, Pirates of Treasure Island, and my personal favorite Sunday School Musical (a mockbuster of High School Musical). So you catch the drift with The Asylum’s filming choices?

So even though every single death in this movie was from a shark, there is only a 1 in 3,700,000 chance of being killed by a shark during your lifetime according to National Geographic. So what’s real? Are you going to believe the statistic of some worldwide institution? or perhaps The Asylum’s best movie yet? Let us look forward to the next entry.

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