Zack & Nick's Culture Cast

Digesting the lowest rung of pop culture so you don't have to!

Breakdown: Green Lantern (Part 3)

Continuing on from Part 2:

We learn that the Green Lantern Corps are not faring too well against Parallax.  My question: if Parallax was defeated before by Abin Sur, why not do what he did?  Clearly, it worked.  Wouldn’t that be the first course of action?  Or did Sur never write it down?  The fact that Sur defeated Parallax is never really referenced again nor his method of doing so.

Hal then gets trained.  And by trained, I mean thrown into the fire and sucker punched constantly.  Is this really how they train new recruits, especially ones who *just* learned of the Green Lantern Corps existence?  Seems harsh.  Kilowog, in a completely throwaway line (which shouldn’t have been) mentions how the sun has gravity.  Training complete!


Proper Training

Hal also meets Sinestro (with a name like that, I’m sure he isn’t evil) and the purple alien takes his anger out on Hal.  He’s upset that Hal is disrespecting Abin-Sur’s memory by not being the perfect Green Lantern right away.  Wouldn’t it make more sense for Sinestro, who revered Sur, would want to take Hal under his wing the way Sur did him?  No, that’s too rational (and there wouldn’t be a movie if he didn’t outright reject Hal).  Granted, it is misplaced anger, but Sinestro never acknowledges this (even after he takes a liking to Hal at the end).

"Hi.  I'm racist."

“Hi. I’m racist.”

Hal agrees that he sucks and goes home.  For some reason, he is allowed to keep the ring.  Why?  Wouldn’t that be like letting a cop quit his job, but the force allowing him to keep his issued gun?  That’s stupid.  Plus, how long was Hal gone for?  A couple of days, maybe?  And no one notices him missing.  Is disappearing for days on end common for Hal?

Meanwhile, Hammond begins hearing people’s thoughts and lives out every teacher’s fantasy by slapping his students around via telekinesis.


Any teacher who claims they would never think of doing this is lying.

Later on, we are at a big party.  Apparently the US military agreed to use the automatic planes shown at the beginning.  Even though the military expressed enough disinterest in the project for Ferris Air to lay people off, we are given a nice hand-wave explanation on why this is happening.  However, this plot element is completely worthless as the military having these planes as it doesn’t have any real impact on the story.  Ah, whatever.

We also learn that Hal and Hammond know each other and clearly don’t like each other.   Why, you may ask?  Well, that is never established.  I guess you can argue that Hammond is jealous of Hal since Hammond’s father treats Hal like a son, but we don’t know what Hal’s problem with Hammond is.  They just act cold towards each other, even when Hal tries to subtly champion what Hammond does.  Then again, Hal is a bit of a jerk, so perhaps that’s just Hal being Hal.


“We don’t like each other for reasons neither of us are completely sure of.”

I guess my major problem is that we are an hour into the movie and this is the first time these characters are actually meeting.  And, even more problematic, is that the movie is trying to shove some sort of backstory between the two.  With only 40 minutes of movie left, it comes off a bit contrived.  I feel we needed some of this rivalry earlier, and then build on it, so we can have some sort of reason to care when these two eventually go at it.  I guess this is a minor point, but one that still bugs me.  Maybe they should have put it in the opening narration with everything else.

Also, why is Hammond even at this party?  Other than being the senator’s son, there is absolutely no reason for him to be there.  And since he doesn’t like his father, even if he got an invite (which, logically, Hammon probably wouldn’t), why would he come to something that celebrates the senator?  Oh, I know.  Because the plot demanded he be there.  And, I guess, to have a needless bit of him creeping on Carol.


“I’ve turned into a complete cliche!”

So, the senator leaves the party and Hammond decides he’s had enough of his father by using his new powers to get his helicopter to crash.  Of course, no one runs when they see this helicopter fall to the ground, then again, who would run from the slowest falling helicopter in the world?  And of course, when it does hit the ground, no one gets shredded into bits from the propeller (even though numerous people are close by).


No one was killed in this horrific accident.

Hal jumps into action as Green Lantern and saves the helicopter by putting it on a toy race track.  Earlier scene explained.  I guess using a giant hand to grab it would have been too easy.  Perhaps I’m being too critical.  Wait, no I’m not!

Later, Hal visits Carol, who immediately recognizes him through his mask.  I’ll give credit where credit is due.  It is a funny bit.


“I’ve known you my whole life! I’ve seen you naked! You don’t think I would recognize you because I can’t see your cheek bones?!”

Meanwhile, Hammond tweaks and gets a big head, literally, and the government nabs him.  Of course, they cannot control him and chaos ensues.  Fortunately, Hal’s ring senses it and he intervenes.


Marvel as the two guys who apparently didn’t like each other in real life just happen to both independently get superpowers!

After some fisticuffs, Hector destroys the government compound (killing his father in the process).  Of course, this goes unmentioned the rest of the movie.  You’d think the government would send some sort of man hunt on either Hammond or the strange green guy floating around since they were sighted at the location.  Then again, this is the same movie where the shadowy government agencies move at a snail’s pace.  Good consistency.

In fact, this scene just sorta ends.  Hal zaps Hammond across the room, Hammond screams in defeat (for some reason), and Hal just sits there catching his breath.  Cut to next scene with Hal in his apartment.  This is just incredibly lazy writing.


“Should I go get that guy and bring him to justice? I mean, he’s just across the room. Nah…I’ll do it later.”

Tune in tomorrow for the “thrilling” conclusion!



3 responses to “Breakdown: Green Lantern (Part 3)

  1. CultureCast-Z January 9, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    Nick, I LOVE these write-ups! Each one is better than the last. Great work! Can’t wait to read the thrilling conclusion.

  2. Pingback: Breakdown: Green Lantern (Part 4) « The Culture Cast with Zack and Nick

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: