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Digesting the lowest rung of pop culture so you don't have to!
Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of movies come out that seemingly have revolving casts. Whether it is the Apatow factory, the Dreamworks Animation movies, or even the collective Marvel family of films (specifically the re-branded Marvel film production ones), casting seems to be more incestuous than ever. Cast Seth Rogen in a movie? You might as well just sign up Jonah Hill too. Making an Iron Man sequel? Better throw in Samuel L. Jackson and six other unnecessary cameos.
Unfortunately (for me anyway), these films also seem to feature some of my least favorite actors out there. That’s really what I’m here to talk about today. To me, so many recent films feature over-exposed celebrities and needless cameos that it’s actually drawing me *away* from theaters (I’ve been to the movies twice in the past four months…whereas in years past I was at the movies probably three times a month, if not more). So without further ado, here are five actors I am currently burnt out on!
5. Mark Ruffalo
Mark Ruffalo keeps getting cast in high-profile films despite ostensibly bringing absolutely *nothing* to the table as far as acting talent goes. I guess maybe women like him, but I don’t actually know anyone who thinks he’s particularly handsome. He’s never anchored a hit movie on his own, and rarely stars in hit movies whatsoever. So what does he bring to the production except for minimal acting talent? Since 2008, he’s been in nearly ten movies (with The Avengers, where he has been completely miscast as Bruce Banner/The Hulk, being released next spring/summer). To top it off, Ruffalo is an avid 9/11 conspiracy theorist. That’s enough for me to not want to ever see anything with him in it ever again.
Career Highlights: Zodiac, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Career Lowlights: Shutter Island, Just Like Heaven
Other than ruining what should have been a perfectly serviceable zombie comedy, Emma Stone has starred or been featured in more movies lately than any actress I can currently think of. She’s been involved with 12 Hollywood productions since 2009 alone. She’s 23 years old. At this point, she will literally be in every movie released from now until 2025. The good news? Like all “it” actresses, she’ll eventually age into doing nothing but formulaic romantic comedies that no one watches except bored housewives (call it the Kathryn Heigl Effect or something).
Career Highlights: Easy A, Zombieland (begrudgingly…she’s terrible in it)
Career Lowlights: The Help, Marmaduke
3. Seth Rogen
Rogen has the benefit of being actually talented in that he is a strong writer and a pretty decent actor. The thing is, he’s been in 11 movies since 2009. That’s far too many for me to have seen or cared about in so little time, and it’s proof that Rogen may be stretching himself thin creatively. Though he did star against-type as an action hero in this year’s Green Hornet (which I didn’t bother to see), he seems to fall back on playing the schlubby, loveable loser type far too often.
Career Highlights: Funny People, Observe and Report
Career Lowlights: Pineapple Express, Paul
2. James Franco
Franco is simultaneously getting six doctorate degrees, curing AIDS, fighting global warmer, feeding malnourished children, and filming eleven movies at once. Franco is less an actor than he is an inhuman, unholy spectre. Franco has somehow found the time to either star, direct, or write (though only once all at the same time) at least 12 movies since 2009. He also half-heartedly hosted the Oscars, guest-starred on All My Children, and is planning some kind of bizarre career as an artist. You know what? Fuck this guy.
Career Highlights: Rise of the Planet of the Apes (though he’s kinda awful in it), Milk
Career Lowlights: Your Highness, Spider-Man 3
1. Jonah Hill
Jonah Hill is neither funny, nor a good actor. I know that humor is subjective, and I know that a ton of people will disagree with me. But go back and look at some of his filmography. His schtick is the exact same thing in every movie he does. He recently went for a more “serious” effort in Moneyball (which I have not seen), though I have heard no one critically praise his performance. This shows me that not only is he incapable of doing anything funny, but he also can’t pull of drama. Since 2009, he has been involved in over 15 Hollywood productions, by far the most on this list. Bonus negative points: he’s a part of the unfortunately constantly recycled Dreamworks Animation voice cast. What exactly is appealing about his voice?
Career Highlights: Funny People, How To Train Your Dragon
Career Lowlights: Strange Wilderness, Get Him To The Greek