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Friday Five – Obnoxious Internet Phrases
October 21, 2011Posted by on
I’ve noticed that folks on the Internet tend to use phrases that make them come off as completely obnoxious. This can particularly become the case when people talk about various movies and TV shows. Granted, the poster is probably just a fine person, but their phrasing comes off worse than they actually are. Probably.
As such, this week’s Friday Five will look at the Top Five most obnoxious internet phrases!
“Pass For Life”
Zack and I did a piece of this odd phrase a few months back. Basically the poster will accept and love anything a particular director, actor, etc. will ever do. This one isn’t as bad as others, but it does set a strange precedent as if the poster has the undisputed say over someone’s career, especially since it doesn’t take into account the misfires that are bound to happen. Look at Spielberg; he makes awesome films. And then there’s 1941.
“It’s Not What Fans Want”
This is thrown around a lot with big franchises (particularly comic book properties) when a poster decidedly claims what the fans want with absolute authority. I have one response for them: No. Fans are too varied and enjoy different aspects of the property to have one single person speak for the entire group. It is for that reason I am happy that TV and movie producers largely don’t listen to fans. And, lets face it, what the poster really means is “It’s not what I want”.
“It’s Not What [insert creator] Would Want”
This is similar to the above. It centers around big franchises when new people take control of it. Only, in this case, the online poster claims to know what the original creator of the franchise would have wanted. Truth is, they don’t know, and it is extremely arrogant. This is often has a large presence within the Star Trek fandom. My favorite example was an interview I saw where Rod Roddenberry (Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry’s son) claimed his father would have liked the new effects in the then-recent remastered Star Trek, and some fandom magazine author outright disagreed and told the son he was wrong. Something tells me that Roddenberry’s son would know what he would like better than some nobody he never met.
A poster sees some new movie or TV show that either is a reboot, sequel, or remake and claims that it isn’t necessary. I’ll admit that I’ve probably used this in the past, but I never felt comfortable doing so. I never knew why until a truth bomb hit me about a year ago: no movie is necessary. It is a form of entertainment. That’s it. You don’t need it to survive. To be a poster on the Internet and say what movies are and are not “necessary” is, to me, the epitome of being a film snob.
“I’d Hit It”
This one bugs me the most. There is an attractive actress (usually), and the poster (usually male) remarks that they would have sex with her. This bugs me because A) it is done in such a half-hearted way as if it would be a favor for the celebrity and B) assumes the celebrity would willing sleep with the poster. Spoiler Alert: she won’t. Also, anytime I see the phrase, I can’t help but picture this image in regards to the poster. I’ll occasionally say this to friends in an intentionally mocking tone just because it is so stupid.