Zack & Nick's Culture Cast

Digesting the lowest rung of pop culture so you don't have to!

Why I’m Not Going to See Green Lantern This Weekend

Last week I wrote up a list of reasons why I’d be seeing Super 8 on opening weekend. As it turns out, my instincts to get my ass to the theater in that case were correct. I enjoyed Super 8 immensely and I would advise anyone to check it out while it’s in theaters. This week, I am staying home rather than attending the latest comic book movie, Green Lantern.

I was originally going to see this, and in stunning 3D! I changed my mind today when I got a text from my girlfriend that read something like this: “I heard GL is terrible and the 3D is crap. Do we really want to spend our money on it?” I responded back with: “Not really. Let’s just stay home and watch a movie instead.”

I should note that I am a huge Green Lantern fan. I know pretty much everything there is to know about Hal Jordan, Oa, and the history of the Corps. I have scores of comics, graphic novels, and pieces of GL merchandise; I even contemplated getting the GL symbol as a tattoo. I’m a comic-book geek at heart, I suppose. So why the change of heart on the upcoming movie?

1. The reviews are universally bad. IGN, in its review, even compares Green Lantern to last summer’s mega-bomb Jonah Hex. After great reviews for Thor and X-Men: First Class, this is especially disappointing. If it had scored even as well as the recent Hulk movie, then maybe that would have played into my decision. As it stands, the movie seems like a giant green-shaded turd. After a litany of well-reviewed comic book movies, this is a damn shame.

2. DC hasn’t learned their lesson from Superman Returns. That lesson being the following: Stop woefully miscasting your leads! Reynolds seems like he would kind of work as Hal Jordan, but Blake Lively, at 23 years old, has no business being the love interest of a 34 year old man. Just like Kate Bosworth in Superman Returns, Warner Bros. should have cast a much older, much more mature female protagonist. The casting of Lively seems to be the result of some kind of demographic-pandering nightmare.

3. It’ll be on home video in September or October. Why would I waste over $20 on two 3D-surcharged tickets when I can rent it from the Redbox or even watch it on Amazon’s on-demand service in 3 months for less than a value meal at McDonald’s? This is huge problem facing modern Hollywood, and if they want to combat it then they should start providing more quality entertainment. The novelty of 3D  getting more people in the theaters has almost completely worn off. I can watch this movie on my 3D tv at home for a fraction of the price and get the exact same experience without having to suffer idiots yelling at the screen and teenage girls checking their cellphones every 5 minutes.

Are you going to sit through Green Lantern this weekend? Let us know!

-Z-

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